We got this. The art of divorce mediation is non-adversarial, private, and in many cases less expensive. It is a space in which we risk designing the future.* We move from, “this is mine, that’s yours,” to…“We got this.”

Steps taken as a couple and individually in mediation:

  • Discussing your goals

  • Gathering data (fact finding)

  • Considering the data and understanding the problem(s)

  • Developing creative options and solutions

  • Refining those options and solutions

  • Drafting a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU). [The MOU is created, reviewed by attorney(s) and used in creating the divorce settlement.]

Considering the data and understanding the problem(s) may include:

  1. Parenting: custody, scheduling, financial support: NJ legal and non-legal responsibilities

  2. Pet(s): custody, scheduling, financial support

  3. Dividing marital assets and NJ legal and non-legal responsibilities for continued financial support

  4. General budgeting and support: Now and future

  5. Expert financial and real estate examination, as well as other shared assets

  6. Establishing a win-win MOU.

You do not have to use attorneys to arrive at a comfortable and equitable resolution.

During the process of divorce, attorneys act in an essential role legally completing your divorce. Mediation however, may be the preferred path for open dialogue and ease of negotiation toward a win-win divorce. You and your spouse are invited to a 30-minute informational meeting in which to gain clarity on next steps.

75-minute Zoom, or in-person divorce mediation sessions. Couples average 10 sessions.* Compared to attorney costs, you’re saving money for both of you, and if you have children, for them too.

  • *Sessions may, or may not, include research and document preparation. And the number of sessions vary with experts in Team Mediation for complex estates.

To schedule a complimentary 30-minute informational meeting, either click the orange “Schedule a meeting” button anywhere on this website and fill out the short form, or Email Dana Lichtstrahl at, dlichtstrahl@gmail.com, or call, 609-915-1999.

Welcoming all couples who are expecting to participate in the process of their divorce meditation.

“Why did I choose to work with Dana? Because she’s open-minded, has excellent communication skills, is easy to listen to and understand, is equitably driven, unconventional, and remains focused.”  — Philipe L. [client]

Often resolved in five to fifteen sessions. You both control the timeline. Consider that the process of divorce is not that complicated. What can be complicated is the heightened emotional content of the couple.

  • Discernment Counseling: ”Is divorce the right next step?” (ask about rate)

  • Divorce Mediation

  • Gray Divorce Mediation: couples 55+

  • Team Mediation: couples’ expert support

  • Divorce Coaching

  • Post-divorce Mediation

I think you have the information you need right now. Meanwhile, consider reading Jonathan Reed’s genius poem, Lost Generation. You can find it here, An interesting aspect about it for me, is the clear distinction that both perspectives are very real (the forward and backward reading of his poem). We could then ask, how do both exist together—two diverse realities—effortlessly unified in some sort of harmony?

This is what we do in mediation, we create a space in which together—with our diverse realities—we risk designing the future*—for more than ourselves. If this sounds like a healthy risk, I welcome your email, dlichtstrahl@gmail.com; or call, 609-915-1999.

*NOTE: I cite, Ava Abramowitz, Esq., for teaching that, “Human risk is the Elephant in the room,” to pay attention to risk, and that mediation is for, “designing your future”—individually and together. Thank you, Ava.

Supportive books…

Copy and paste any of the book titles below, into Google’s search bar and you’ll find where they can be purchased. Your local library is sure to have many of these books as well, and your local librarians are there to help you find even more; for yourself and for kids (yours or someone else’s). Same with booksellers at major bookstores. YouTube will also be a good educational source, yet be discerning. Get second and third opinions. Trust your intuition about the information you’re believing and who is providing it.

FOR INDIVIDUALS AND COUPLES SEEKING DIVORCE:
Creative Divorce by Mel Krantzler, Signet Books, 1974.
Getting Apart Together by Martin A. Kranitz, Impact Publishers, Box 1094, San Luis Obispo, CA 93406, 1987.

The Fundamentals of Family Mediation by John M. Hayes, State University of New York Press, 1994. [This book is an excellent resource for those divorcing, even though designed as a mediator’s handbook.]
FOR ADULTS WHOSE PARENTS DIVORCED:
Growing Up Divorced by L. B. Franks, Simon & Schuster, 1983.
FOR PARENTS:
Mom’s House, Dad’s House by Isolina Ricci, Macmillan, 1980.
FOR KIDS:
Why Are We Getting a Divorce? By Peter Mayle, Harmony Books 1988.
Dinosaurs Divorce by Marc Brown, Laurie Krasny Brown, Little Brown, 1986.
Sometimes A Family Has To Split Up by Jane Werner Watson, Robert E. Switzer, M.D., & J. Cotter Hirschberg, M.D. Created in cooperation with The Menninger Foundation for Solving Problems of Childhood. 1988.