What if the most important thing you've never noticed is…
your own thinking?

The very short story…

In early July I sat in the garden with my dad who had just turned 103. His caregiver (more like family) was there too. I had just finished showing everyone the website I had spent two days re-writing and I wanted their thoughts about it. After a slight pause dad looked at me and asked, “So what’s the benefit?” 

Oddly, I felt like a deer in headlights. I had no immediate reply. I was without words and sensed myself beginning to feel highly frustrated. Dad couldn't see why noticing thoughts mattered and he was asking me to make its relevance clear—when I thought I had.

Dad went on, “…and is insight something anyone cares about?” He had picked up on a line from the site that read, “Insight is often the outcome…” (of the work and it is). However, I knew that noticing the movement of one's thoughts presented many more benefits than insight alone, (although that is exceptional). Yet with all the writing and rearranging I had done, from dad’s view, benefits needed further explanation.

I returned home with nagging thoughts about explaining “benefits.” I began noticing the thoughts that were moving through my mind -- the fearful ones (e.g., benefits are unclear, how to explain them, missed the mark), and the supportive ones (e.g., the site generated a solidly important conversation.)

While watching that stream of mental chatter like a ticker tape of information—out of nowhere—I noticed something fresh emerge. I quietly “heard”: Maybe dad is asking a question the website needs to answer. Maybe others will ask the same question, too. As I watched these new and noticeably different thoughts, I also noticed an excitement building within me about describing the benefits of noticing one’s thoughts. I became eager to address it on the website... 

How did the pain of not hitting the mark (uncertain, highly frustrated) morph into genuine excitement?

I phoned dad with a new outlook and told him that his question about benefits was an important one, and because of it I had decided to include it in the new website content. It was so much fun to tell him that!

What follows…

People often say:

• Why do I keep having the same argument with so and so?

• Why can't I make this decision?

• Why do I keep doubting myself?

• Why do I react this way?

• Why did I DO that?

• Why does anxiety keep returning?

• Why do I feel stuck?

• Why do I keep telling myself the same story?

Much of life unfolds through patterns of thinking we rarely notice. They shape how we relate, how we decide, how we experience conflict, uncertainty, love, loss, possibility—our sense of identity.

When we begin to know more about what is in our reality (such as the rapid movement of thinking), that knowing changes our reality, and every one of us has the capacity to become aware of their thinking as it unfolds. No one is left out. We all come naturally equipped.

So what’s the benefit?

People in conversation (dialogue) around noticing the movement of their thinking, often describe leaving with a...

• new orientation/relationship to thinking

• less identification with thoughts

• liberation from habitual responses

• less reactive responses

• greater curiosity

• less uncertainty

• more compassion for themselves/others

• deeper listening

• greater creativity

• new understanding of self

• wiser decisions

• richer relationships

• Stronger experiences of knowing (intuition)

• more humor about life

None of these are guaranteed, yet all of them are possible outcomes over time.

There is something surprisingly calm about becoming aware of thoughts while they are unfolding. Nothing needs to be analyzed, fixed, or changed. For just a moment thinking can become something that is noticed, observed, seen, witnessed, rather than something we automatically “become.” Just that small shift can feel like renewal.

Thank you, dad, for being interested, and asking, “So what’s the benefit of noticing our thoughts?”